Then suddenly they flow in your mind… thoughts, scenarios, images – randomly and without effort, without willing them. A cascade. A window opened by a strong wind, which sends everything flying in different directions. Everything settles though, it ends with the blink of an eye. There is chaos but in the midst of it is order, you see clearly, you see the unassuming process. Certainties that were and are invisible to the naked eye are suddenly so vivid… you see them clearly, like a film rolling before you and you’re watching everything unfold. But the events you see, they have not happened yet – but you see them. Your emotions are bothered, you are hurt, exhilarated, relieved, and hurt. But with the hurt is the undeniable truth. With the truth that honest feeling of unselfishness and care. The willingness to get hurt and feel the pain, to sacrifice because you care. Then you face a crossroad. You are challenged to make a decision. And you end up thinking not about how you would feel. That decision. That. You. Have. To. Take. Then you pause.
Now I wish for a rewind and delete button.