I changed theme!!!!!!!!
And I am loving the new theme… why? Well, it is clean and simplistic, not too much clutter… and… tan ta nan! I am able to exhibit pictures I shot – look at the header! Yes, those are my shots 
I hope you like them as much as I do.
Yes, if it is not yet that obvious, I am an ‘frustrated’ photographer. hihihihi!
Enjoy!
Then suddenly they flow in your mind… thoughts, scenarios, images – randomly and without effort, without willing them. A cascade. A window opened by a strong wind, which sends everything flying in different directions. Everything settles though, it ends with the blink of an eye. There is chaos but in the midst of it is order, you see clearly, you see the unassuming process. Certainties that were and are invisible to the naked eye are suddenly so vivid… you see them clearly, like a film rolling before you and you’re watching everything unfold. But the events you see, they have not happened yet – but you see them. Your emotions are bothered, you are hurt, exhilarated, relieved, and hurt. But with the hurt is the undeniable truth. With the truth that honest feeling of unselfishness and care. The willingness to get hurt and feel the pain, to sacrifice because you care. Then you face a crossroad. You are challenged to make a decision. And you end up thinking not about how you would feel. That decision. That. You. Have. To. Take. Then you pause.
Now I wish for a rewind and delete button.
Originally posted this in my other blog. But decided to post it here (with some edits) because of a very, very, very recent conversation with a friend.
….
conquered Pinatubo yesterday and literally ran the trail on our way down. well the whole group did not run the trail, it was only the crazy four blogger-runners who went crazy and tried to fly through the 8 KM of trails – it was literally boulders, rocks, pebbles, sands, water… name it and it was there!
…
i know that i finally consider a person a ‘friend’ when it feels heavy in my heart to say ‘see you again’ and never want to utter the word ‘goodbye’, while feeling happiness because the friend/s is/are pursuing a dream and is off to do something great.
one can never be selfish for friends.
….
dreams and voyages
adventures and going aways
time and memories
friends
bittersweet
happiness and tears
wish them well
be the wind
let them fly
smile and hide the sadness
be glad
it is growth
your friend
will be a better person
will grace other’s life
growth in the process
just be happy
….
[add.2011.06.07]
Friendship, it transcends time and boundaries.
….
Let me just say this… you are effin’ making me want to cry! I can feel them tear glands already.
I was supposed to be the one figuring out what to bring to you when I return, and now it is getting all twisted. There’ll be more this and that and asking the questions “why” and “how”, but at the end of the day, know that I am happy if you are happy.
Spread your wings, chase and run after that dream with the passion and perseverance that I’ve always admired in you.
I will super miss you. That is already an understatement. But hey, ….
This place has been one of my “places-to-visit” for years now. For reasons “unknown” and much for me being a Capampangan – I haven’t been to Pinatubo. Not to mention that year (2007) I actually did stay and worked in San Fernando for a year, I haven’t been anywhere near Pinatubo.
I have been long enthralled by the beauty of the place, the majestic lake as showcased in those pictures taken by friends who had all trekked to the site. A sight, which I hope I soon will see on May 28 June 4 courtesy of “Akyat Pinatubo – Bloggers’ Climb for a Cause (Let’s Go Sago!)”
Having first learned about the event from a Twitter exchange between Leo and Argo, I visited the latter’s blogsite and read his entry <click HERE> and decided to invite myself. hihihihi! This is one chance to visit the place that I will not let me pass by! And the best thing about the whole package is, I get to enjoy while helping a really good cause. You see, a portion of the registration fee will go to Tahanang Walang Hagdan. Now that is hitting two birds with one stone. :)
So on May 28 June 4, I shall be doing all of these! weeeheee!!!
Akyat Mt. Pinatubo Day Tour
May 28, 2011 June 4, 2011, Saturday
Tarlac, Philippines
Akyat Pinatubo - Bloggers' Climb for a Cause
Day Tour
03:00a – Assembly at Panay Avenue, Quezon Avenue MRT
03:30a – Departure to Capas, Tarlac
06:30a – ETA Tourism Office
07:00a – 4 x 4 ride to jump off point
07:30a – Start of 2-hour trek (can be shorter depending on the speed of participants)
10:00a – ETA crater; free-time, swim, explore
11:30a – Lunch break
01:00p – ETD to jump off point (2-hr trek)
03:00p – ETA jump off point; 4 x 4 ride back to Tourism Office
03:30p – ETA Tourism Office; wash-up
04:30p – ETD to Capas Shrine
05:00p – Side trip to Capas Shrine (if time permits)
05:30p – ETD to Manila.
* arrival time in manila may vary, but the ETA would be 9:00pm
Want to Join?
Package Rate
Package Inclusions for All
Additional Package Inclusions for Bloggers
Registration Guidelines
This event is made possible with the following sponsors and partners: SM, Jollibee, Havaianas, Unilab, Travel Factor, GeiserMaclang, Primer Group of Companies, Sledgers, Solid Hosting, R.O.X., Kiss Tourist Bus, Nufffnang Philippines, ChurpChurp Philippines, Orange Magazine TV, and Blogger Manila.
Tara Let’s! Wag maging dayuhan sa sariling bayan. :)
“Runners: Challenge yourselves and run to beat your own time and pace!” – That basically sums up what the Mizuno Infinity Run 2011 is all about. It’s not about out-running the ‘other’ runner, but it is daring to beat yourself and be at your very best.
Mizuno Infinity Run.06.11.2011
This year’s Mizuno Infinity Run, slated on 11th June / Saturday at the Global City, Fort Bonifacio, Taguig City will feature the event’s latest and longest race distance to date – 21K. Replacing the previous 15K, the new course is set to provide the challenge that runners demand, according to Race Director Mr. Rudy Biscocho.
Race distances, entry fees and route maps
|
Race Distance* |
Entry Fee** |
Route Map |
Finisher Items |
|
5K |
PhP 600 |
Finisher’s Shirt |
|
|
10K |
PhP 750 |
Finisher’s Shirt |
|
|
21K |
PhP 800 |
Finisher’s Shirt; Medal |
All registered runners will be entitled to the following:
*Same distance runners (e.g. 5K in 2010 and 5K in 2011) will have a chance to get a medal if they are able to beat their own pace (See “Beat Your Own” Category)
**Participants of the Mizuno Infinity Run 2010 can also get a discount of PhP50 on the Entry Fee upon presentation of their race bibs from last year’s event.
Mizuno Infinity Run 2011 Singlets
Registration is currently ongoing at all Mizuno Branches in Metro Manila. Or you may register online at http://mizuno.shopinas.com/
Registration closes on 05 June or until the 5,000 runner slots are filled in, whichever comes first.
Race categories and prizes
| Race Category | Prize |
| Open Category | Cash prizes and Mizuno Items |
| Age Category | Medals and Mizuno Items |
| “Beat Your Own Pace” Category*** | Mizuno Items and Suunto Watches |
Also, in true Mizuno Infinity Run tradition, the event will feature a “Beat Your Own Pace” category, where distance shifters from a lower to a higher distance (e.g. 15K in 2010 to 21K in 2011) who beat their own pace can get the following prizes:
01.04.2011.ET 2300H. it happened
.
02.04.2011.ET 1000H. i was within the vicinity of the world’s perfect cone, minding runner-friendlies when i received a call from my dad. he gave me the news, which gave me that jolt and void. my world was shattered, my heart broken to pieces and crushed to dust.
.
03.04.2011.ET 2000H. i wept in the bus, on the way to the first home i ever knew; sad that the arms that used to welcome me and those eyes that never failed to light up and from which i can warmly feel love and endearment would no longer be there. my heart would always, always flutter when i go home. this time though my heart was heavy and it felt void.
i arrived and saw the casket. it was placed at the exact same place where grandma was; and opposite it were the couches. this time though, i sat alone on the couch, without my gramps who held me when i wept. without those arms that enveloped me while i was crying and without the soothing voice telling and reassuring me that it is gonna be okay, and that i should try to stop crying coz i might make him cry too. my heart was heavy.
cushioned
gramps didn’t like it when i cry or when i am sad. he hated it and would reprimand whoever it was who made me cry or sad even if it were my fault. i should always be happy, he said. i feel that until his very last he was thinking of that. i got the news while doing something that makes me happy, and for some circumstance i was also not able to attend the funeral. almost similar as when we brought grandma to her final resting place, gramps and i left early, he said he can’t bear the heat any longer so the both of us left early – before all the crying started.
the tears they would come every now and then, but would desert me soon enough leaving my eyes heavy and my heart heavier. yes i wonder what was and is wrong with me. i can feel my heart weeping but the tears are not just there. it’s just like the dam is forced shut.
.
04.13.2011. gramps was in my dreams last night. so was grandma. but it was on gramps that i was holding on tightly. embracing him and not wanting to let go. he said he has to go somewhere and that i cannot go with him. that he’ll see me soon but that for the time being i have to be on my own and just wait. i wasn’t crying then, but i didn’t want to let go. goodness knows i don’t ever want to let go. funny thing is, i knew, i knew even if it were just a dream that he has left this temporary world – that he’s gone home and is with grandma. another funny thing, he was wearing that aNR singlet
.
gramps, you’d forever be my endless love and i will be forever singing ‘our’ song.
i don’t know if the pain will ever go away or how soon it will. all i know is that i am missing you so much now…. i’ll be okay. i promise to try and be okay. don’t worry much about me, but please do watch over me and guide me. give my love to grandma.
I dreamed, I believed, I prayed, I ran, I conquered, I am a MARATHONER.
I was once told “You will never run a marathon, you won’t survive the distance.” Too bad, my grandpa who raised me said that I can do whatever and be whoever I want to be as long as I believe and work on it. And yes, this one’s for you gramps!
.
The Dream
To run a marathon – The Bull Runner-Dream Marathon 2011. It was a frantic morning. I woke up to an SMS from my friend and team-mate Helen Arabia, telling me that the sign-up for the Dream Marathon was already open. I didn’t wait anymore to get to my computer; I accessed the site and signed-up using my mobile phone. I had to get one of those 300 slots.
A week or two after, the list of dreamers were announced. My name was there.
That Long and Winding Road
September 2010, a week after coming back from the CamSur International Marathon where we ran 21K, it was registration week for the Dream Marathon – and I threw the towel in. It was already the last day of registration and I was pretty sure I would not make it, until I got a call from Daddy Bilz and Daie – ordering me to go to BHS where they will meet me. Angels. If it were not for these two dear friends, there would not have been a Dream Marathon for me.
Registered and all, it was now time to train. I knew how I want my first marathon to be. I had a goal. I forgot one thing though; the road to your dreams is not always rosey.
I had to stop training by the 2nd week October, the shin of my left leg was hurting bad following a 22K run at Clark. I can’t even walk without feeling the pain on the medial side of it. Helen’s friend, a sports doctor who we accidentally saw at Ultra while doing our warm-up run checked it and told me to rest for two-weeks – it might be a torn-calf muscle. I was instructed to get a shin support or compression socks to wear when I try running again after two-weeks of full rest. He also said that if after two-weeks it still hurts, then further tests will be done and I might need therapy. I followed the advice. Two weeks later, I tried running again. It was hurting at first, but after a while the pain was gone. I disregarded the lingering thought that maybe the “injury” is not yet healed. I had to train, I am preparing for a marathon.
Unfortunately, the body does have its own way of telling you that it is not in A-Okay condition. After a 6K run by the first–week of November, there was this pain on my left calf that would not go away – even after soaking the leg in a bucket full of ice. Something was definitely wrong. I was losing my mojo and struggling to hold on. And my dearest Helen was keeping a good hold on me, edging to me keep up with my strengthening exercises to keep me in shape. She also gave me another doctor to consult with, Dr. Cory Cabuquit.
November 14 – The PAU 50K Tagaytay to Nasugbu Road
While acting as “support crew” to runner-friendlies, I decided that I will get the left leg checked again – and this time, even get an MRI if needed. I just wanted to know what was wrong. I guess what finally pushed the trigger was the sight of all these runners traversing that road I once ran for training and that has became a favorite of mine.
Helen and I during BRP's T2N long run, 20th June 2010. Photo by Dr. Omar Arabia
November 17. Running Down Memory Lane
As scheduled, I went to the Metropolitan Medical Center (MMC) for a consultation with Dr. Cabuquit. She asked where it was hurting, checked the leg, asked when I first felt the pain, and made me recount CamSur and Clark – my last two long runs. I told her it was during the first 5KM of 21K I ran during at CamSur in September. I was going to land wrong and immediately corrected, then upon landing I felt a sharp pain on the left calf – I said I thought I might’ve pulled something – but the pain went away after some time. Then felt something again during the course – I thought it was cramps so I just sped up. She asked what my pace was during the first 5K, as well as my pace during the mid-part and my average pace during the race. Also if I felt the recurring pain during the run, and asked what I did when there was pain. I answered “yes” to feeling the pain every now and that I sped up when it was hurting since that is how I usually deal with cramps. She then asked what I did when I got to the finish line. I said I ran back to pace my runner-friends to the finish (I promised Daddy Bilz and Daie that I would come back for them). She asked if there wasn’t any pain when I finished and I replied with “I was in pain when I got to the finish, but since I didn’t see any medic who could give me a massage, I decided to just “run-off” the cramps.”
The order. She wrote a left-leg x-ray request and instructed me to bring the film back to her.
November 24. Crest-fallen
I went back to MMC and got my film and took it out from the envelope along with the radiologist’s reading. I felt a shiver run down my spine and my hands turned cold when I read this word on the paper “fracture”. Then I looked at the x-ray film and saw this thick white line running across my bone.
Dr. Cabuquit confirmed it, I sustained a stress fracture on my left leg. The good thing though, she said is that it has started to heal, therefore, no more clinic therapies but I will need to go back to lower distances. She instructed me to do my strengthening exercises, hold off on the running and do walk-runs instead (discussed the program), quit the speed training, forego all races that I signed up for and take my calcium tablets. I asked “Would I still be able to do my marathon on March 20?” She said, “You might need to forget about that too and look for another marathon.” Oh did I feel the world shake when she said those words. I felt my face literally going sad. I said, “Really? Could we not check later again then see how it goes?” I guess it was because she was previously a PBA doctor or I might’ve looked really devastated that she said we can look at the possibility of the March 20 marathon later. She gave me that bit of hope.
From then on, I kept her informed of my “training”. I would inform her by SMS of how my walk-runs went, how long I walked, how long I ran, the pace (I was instructed to run at a pace of 8 to 9 KM/min, no faster), and how my leg felt during and after. I was also ordered to keep training 3x a week to keep the leg conditioned. Her most important instruction: stop when you feel any discomfort or pain.
It was not easy. I had already registered for several races and I had to give away all of them. I did not know what went wrong when I kept to my training and did everything that was told of me to do. I totally lost my mojo.
December 15 – A Candle in the Tunnel
Two-weeks after I went back for my 2nd X-ray. This time, I didn’t bother to look at the film. My hands were clammy and it felt as if my heart were in my throat when I went inside her office. I looked at my hands when she raised the film against the light and looked at it. “Had you been taking your calcium tablets?” she asked. “Yes,” I replied. Then she said, “Your leg is looking good, the fracture did not progress. It is healing well.” I looked at her and asked a surprised “Really?!” And she smiled and said yes, but told me that I still have to keep up with my walk-runs but I can already start adding 1KM per week to my initial 3KM “long-runs”. Speed is still out of the equation. I dared and asked if I can run a 21K for Condura in February 5 next year. She said, she’ll check my leg in January and will decide then, and reminded me to keep to my training. That was another grain of hope.
Gray still. The rope I was holding on was a bit frayed. Every now and then I would slip further down and the climb back up would take the better of me. Faith tested.
January 12 – Cleared for the SkyWay!
I showed up for another consult. No X-rays this time. She checked my leg and asked about my training. Then I asked about the 21K for Condura. She said that I am still not allowed to “run all the way”, that my fastest will have to be 7min/KM, and that I have to do a run-walk. I replied with an “I can do that.” I saw the green light for the skyway.
February 05 – Condura 2011. Running at the SkyWay
This was the run where the run bug bit me. Condura 2010, I did my first 5K run. After that I signed up and started training under the Bald Runner Speed Training Clinic at Ultra for proper training, signed up for races, and yes… got hooked.
I was full of nerves the day before Condura 2011 and I was so worried about the left leg. I was texting messages to Maan telling her how I can feel some pain on my left leg. She would sms me back saying I need to relax and it is just nerves. I spent the night at Gail’s home as I will pace with her, we planned to do a 4:1. I was up super early for race day. Fast forward to race proper, I was a bundle of nerves and excitement – thus, I forgot to start the Garmin, which Maan lent me. Bave, paced with us, she was doing her first 21K. Gail’s ITBS made its presence felt at the 8th KM (?). There were, honestly, times when I just wanted to speed up and stop doing the 4:1. I owe it to Gail and Bave for keeping me in. And yes, I knew Maan would be waiting at the Takbo.ph station (around 17 KM) and she’s timing my run. If I get there any earlier than 2 hrs I’ll get ‘the look’. Yes, friends – they’re not afraid to give what they think and give you a good whack on the head when you’re being stupid.
Jump-shot at the 17th KM with Bave and Gail (L-R). Photo by Maan Catolos
Bave, Gail and I clocked within the range of 2:45-47. Not bad eh?
February 23 – Rainbows and Stars.
Another check on the leg but no X-ray. I reported how I’m going with my training and informed about my next long-run, the 30K run for the Dream Marathon. I still did not have the “go” from my doctor and I need her clearance.
She instructed me to keep training, stick to the run-walk, and still not go faster than 7 min/KM. I informed her that I’m trying to keep my pace at the 7-8 min/KM range.
This time it was her who asked me about the date of my marathon. I glowed inside. I said March 20 and then asked if I can do it. She replied with, “Let’s do an x-ray Wednesday before the event, then we shall decide.” I was good with that.
She wrote me a medical clearance after I told her I needed one as it is required for the Dream Marathon. As she was writing it, I promised that if by March 16 she sees something wrong on my film, I would pull-out from the Dream Marathon without hesitation.
Conditional clearance. I was ecstatic.
Suddenly the rope is not frayed anymore — I wasn’t slipping down, I am able to find a better foothold to push myself up, and I am getting better and stronger grips. The climb is feeling easier.
March 16 – THE D-Day Rocket
Somehow it was like a routine already. I proceeded to the Radiology Department, showed the x-ray order from my doctor, paid the fees, waited for my name to be called. Name called, went to the x-ray room, up on the table, left-leg positioned then ‘click’, change position then ‘click’. Walked out of the room, waited for the film, name called and I dared pull the film out. There was still that line running across my left shin. This time though, it is quite thin, like a scratch. I brought the film up and waited for my doctor. She arrived and called me. Gave the envelope, she opened it and pulled it out. She smiled. “Your x-ray is good. You may run the 42, but take it easy okay? No running fast, do a run-walk, stop if there is any pain. Good luck!”
I was in heaven.
